152.2

So, that 2pm interview I had last Friday was successful. I started on Wednesday, as in 3/19/08. Its a temp to perm position, which has me nervous. Hell, it all makes me nervous. After being a position/company for 12 yrs its really nerve wracking. I hate not knowing how to do things. Wednesday was so stressful I was even having problems with the stapler. The guy training me told me I'm too tough on myself, so that at least made me feel better. Its a large company. About 75 people, which is large for me. The majority of people are really nice or at least the majority I met, which also include the guys out back in shipping and receiving.

Today the company was closed due to Good Friday so I'm back in my old office. Getting up and commuting to work this morning was nice. No butterflies/anxiety!!

Oh and the scale read nice today. I guess that's after 2 days of not eating much for lunch or breakfast. Again, anxiety!!

153.6

Tomorrow I have a phone interview at noon and a face to face interview at 2pm. As much as they shouldn't, phone interviews always shake me! Well at least the last one I had did. The woman was the biggest bitch! At least this is with a man.

I was offered a 2nd interview last Monday, which was a great boost for my self esteem, but I wasn't thrilled about the position. Also I received a voicemail message on Monday from another company that they chose someone within the company for the position, but I was their strongest candidate and I gave an excellent interview.

I need to remember those, because this is a difficult and emotional process. I really didn't think it would. Its tough!

Thank God for Daylight Savings. That has really lifted my mood.

I took a walk today on my lunch break and it was gorgeous. Chilly, but bright and sunny, not a cloud in the sky!

154

A company contacted me regarding a position within their company supporting the Pres & VP. I set up an interview for Friday. Its only 15-20 minutes from my house. Thats kinda cool. We'll see.

I wish I could get my ass out of bed to work out. I thought after watching the Biggest Loser last night I'd be motivated enough. But when I'm spooning with my kitty under the warm covers, the last thing I want to do is get up and go down to the cold basement. Which means, I'll have to at 6pm...yuck.

Seeing the sun only once a week is really depressing.

155.4

My 6th interview, 7 if I can count the phone interview last Thursday with the biggest bitch ever. Within 2 minutes of the phone call I wanted to say "forget it, you are a bitch, I wouldn't want to work somewhere you do!" I was to call at 1:30 and at 1:35 I called the agency and told them I couldn't reach her and did not want her to think I was calling in late. So the agency emailed her. When I called again, she rudely told me "well, I was going to call you but you didn't give me that chance." It doesn't read rude, but you should have heard the tone in her voice. I had to explain my current position to her 3 times, because she couldn't grasp the concept that my boss owned the building we are in, leases office space and also offers support services etc., so I'm working working within 2 positions. Then she goes back to my 1st job on my resume that was 18 yrs ago and wants to know what I did there. Well not having the resume in front of me, I couldn't thoroughly remember!! I've been at my current position for 12 yrs...you think she would've started there. She was horrid...I hated her!!

Anyways, I interviewed yesterday at a company/position I'm really interested in. I'm feeling positive about how it went, but I just feel whenever I feel positive about anything, it doesn't happen.

I'm so sick of feeling like this. The anxiety of not knowing where I'll be in a couple of months. My current employer is closing the office in April. I'll be still working part time for him from home, but its not going to be enough to cover my expenses.

Its just really an emotional process. Sad about leaving here, scared about leaving here, excited about a new opportunity and meeting new people, a new bright clean office and then disappointment when I don't here back from the positions that I'm interested in. I know I'm qualified, so then its like "oh, okay they just didn't like me."

Its an emotional rollercoaster and I'm so sick of it!!

153.8

I've had 5 interviews and have sent my resume out to at least 20 companies. I'm already burnt. I've been searching since the beginning of December. I'm just so sick of it. Getting my hopes up and actually being able to visualize myself in some of these offices and then hearing that you were their 2nd choice or not hearing from them at all. I guess being offered the position after my 1st interview and having her call a week later after not accepting the position, to see what she could do to get me to join their team gave me a different illusion of what would come my way.

Valentines Day sucked. We had reservations at the place we got married but we had an argument on Wednesday night and it was one that I wasn't willing to just move on and forget. He's really let me down and I'm sick of him never being completely open with me. He did get me something really nice...beautiful earrings and perfume that I wanted....although I left it in the bag so he doesn't know I looked at it. He says everything that I want to hear when I'm angry and fed up and its annoying because I know that he'll go back to making no effort at all once we make up or whatever you call it.

I wish I had some fun plans this weekend instead of trying to avoid him all weekend and his daughter is with us this weekend so that's always even more ackward when I feel like this.

Oh, joy. Hey at least its Friday and I'm really happy about seeing 153.8...and its only February. Four months away from bathing suit season. Could I actually see below 150 by then? Don't want to jinx anything. I usually sit around 152.

On my way to work today I heard a really fun song that my friends and I use to hear, when we'd go out, which was a lot. It got me thinking. I have not been out to a bar in SO LONG. Okay, yeah so I'm 36 yrs old, but I am childless. I don't go out much PERIOD. Why?

Well all of my friends except 1, have children. I've felt like I've drifted apart from some of them, but then when I think about, maybe its me who is doing the drifting. I mean we have our "couples" dinner get togethers once in a while....there has been 1 each month since November. That's with only 3 of my 6 closest friends, the 6th being my sister, who I hang out with a lot. But outside of those dinners, I've never iniated any "outings". So, I emailed 3 of the friends that I use to go out to the bars with (2 that you'd see us out every Thurs, Fri, Sat and sometimes Sun) to see if they'd be up for an early dinner at a Pub a kid ( oh wait he's a guy we're in our 30s) we know owns and then head back to our old stopping grounds. Within minutes, 2 of them said "you don't have to ask me twice" and the other saying "how about next Saturday?". So, thats the plan and I'm really looking forward to it!!!

It'll be quiet weekend with no football, which after next Sunday, I'll have to get use to that! Sniff, sniff....I hate when football season ends!!

155.5

I absolutely love that show!!! Bob used to my favorite trainer but now that Jillian's back, well she just rocks.

I have one of the Biggest Loser work out DVDs. Not sure which one, but Bob is the trainer in it. He's really good and while I was skeptical when I bought it 2 yrs ago because the workouts are only 20-25 minutes, he completely pushes you!! You work your ass of in those 20 minutes.

Yesterday I did 15 minutes on the Nordictrack...listening to Rick Springfield, I love the 80s....and then I did 25 minutes of low impact workout on the B.L. dvd with Bob! I felt great afterwards!!

Today, depending on how snowy it is at commute time, I'll go to Curves.

Off to get my nails done and the library. AKA my lunchbreak.

Its taken me a couple of weeks but I'm trying to get back to regular workouts and counting calories!!

Its tough when its cold and dark out in the morning and when I'm getting out of work!

156.2 today and I have a friggen headache!

154.8

I've just been going over finances and I have a headache and I want to cry! I now make 45k a year and all the jobs I'm looking at are WAY under. I'm getting really nervous.

I'm just realizing now how I'm very down today. Everything. Holidays, money, weight, and missing my Dad. His birthday is coming up.

I ate from Subway today and I have to say it was really good. I got a 6 inch sub on a wheat roll, with turkey breast, cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles and mustard with a small bag of sun chips. I was surprised that they didn't have hummus as an option for a sandwich spread, but all and all, I liked it.

157.8 this morning. I've got to bum up the exercise and start journaling what I'm eating, at least from Mon-Fri. I ate terrible this weekend.

Our Wassail Party was on Saturday. It was a really great time. It started at 6pm and with the exception of 2 couples arriving an hour late ( no biggie) everyone was on time and stayed until 12:30a.m.!! My sister came over for a couple of hours with the boys so my friends could see how "cute" and "big" they've gotten! One couple stayed over and we were up until 1:30-2pm! Its been awhile that I've done that!!!

Our tree looked great. Although, we did not buy a new one, I took everything down on Friday night and Michael some how managed to fix it from bending. So, all was good.

Wow, just looked out the window.....its quite a distance from my desk....and its really snowing out now!!! Cozy, how I wish I was home, on the couch, under a blanket with my kitty, in the cozy glow of the tree!!!